​Crucial conversations are at the heart of successful performance management.

​They are increasingly needed more and more. They often feel high risk and can be full of emotion. 
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But the cost of not having them is greater in the long run for the individual, the rest of the team and also the manager.

​One of several techniques I get people to practice at my Hands On Leadership course is called R.A.I.S.E. 

​Here is a brief outline of how to use this technique:

Reason: state your reason for speaking

Advantage: outline one to three advantages for the person you are addressing

In their shoes: acknowledge potential objections they would have

Success: share evidence of previous success (of people taking this on) that will resonate with the person you are talking to
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End: restate your recommendation.

Now imagine you are the White House Communications Director who has the task of recommending a new hair style for the President.  

Use the RAISE technique to see how you might formulate a way through an "impossible" and career threatening conversation. If you are brave enough to have a go, I'd love you to share your scenario with me!

Thankfully most conversations in the workplace are not so dramatic. However, particularly in the privacy of one to one supervision meetings, managers can often opt-out of doing the right thing.

Of all management practices, perhaps the one most shrouded in secrecy is what happens in supervision meetings.

At times it feels like the confidentiality of the confessional. Individuals pass on from manager to manager the sacred rights until they move organisations and have to learn again what happens in a new place.

It is often fascinating listening to clients describe this vital process. Often they have given little conscious thought to it.

"They just happen."

"It is two hours of reporting."

"If we are too busy we cancel."

For others the process can be dominated by a list of set questions driven by an HR department that somehow sucks the life out of what is a well-intentioned opportunity to provide support and development.

​Let's get back to basics. What is the purpose of your supervision/one to ones (or whatever else you call them). 

Bear in mind this purpose can change over time. 

It can have a different emphasis for each individual. 

But by identifying a purpose for the meeting will bring meaning to your meeting. It means they won't get cancelled "just because someone is busy" as they will have a value. The value will also be for both parties involved.

Some of my most satisfying one to ones have been when I learnt to move the description of achievements or non-achievements out of the meeting.  

So many people think they have to fill up the time with a detailed description of what they have done since the last meeting. They have a need to seek validation, or create a detailed context to explain their current performance and challenges.

In most cases this is a waste of both peoples' time and the organisation has lost an opportunity.

Instead, consider initiating a short results driven report two days prior to the supervision meeting. This enables you to give a brief comment on the positive and examine areas for concern.

This should free up the meeting to address two crucial things:
1. What are your current challenges and how are you tackling them?

2. What are your future opportunities and what do you need to do to prepare for them?

With these two "rich" questions you can provide advice, teach or coach depending upon which style works for you.  

You can add in other challenges or opportunities that are driven by you or the organisation's agenda. This can create a space to have crucial conversations that lead to meaningful performance enhancing actions.

"Now. Mr. President about your hair...."

When I set up the senior management team at Sense Community services, every team meeting took a different chapter from Stephen Covey's Seven Habits of Highly Effective People which stimulated discussion and team bonding.
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I would also recommend;
- One Minute Manager (and the rest of the series) by Ken Blanchard. You can read a book in less than an hour and it effectively distils the essence of good management.

- Drive by Daniel Pink an entertaining and thought-provoking exploration about motivation which will encourage you to think about how you manage and what you delegate.

- Eat that Frog by Brian Tracey which is a classic Time Management book that is still relevant today.
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There are a lot of great TED talks available on YouTube. Personally I find any talk by Simon Sinek insightful.
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More recently I've observed that mentoring and individual coaching are becoming more popular. 

​A number of my clients hire me for a two or three session to tackle a particular skill or experience issue. I've recently been helping a senior manager improve their presentation skills.
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​If you have the time, I'd like to hear about your favourite ways to develop your most valuable asset. You.

How much time do you dedicate to personal development? Is reading a great leadership or management book one of the ways in which you choose to develop your skills?

One of the essential perks of my job as a charity coach, consultant and trainer is that I get the chance to read a lot of great books. These help me develop new skills, enhance my knowledge and broaden my thinking.

In my latest BVSC blog I explain why I think everyone should take time out to read. 

What is it about Christmas that seems to tie in with the most difficult of decisions – to make people redundant?

I have experienced it and I struggled. But, in time, I managed to regroup and become stronger.
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In my latest BVSC blog I share a few thoughts that might help both organisations and individuals at the wrong end of such a decision.

You can read it in full here.

Picking a coach is important. But it can be tough to know what you should be looking for, especially if you have not worked with one before. 

How do I make sure a coach will be the right fit for me?
Will they have the right background?
How can I ensure they will focus on the things that are important to me?

I'd recommend considering the following 6 important questions to gauge how you feel the coach matches your situation and will stretch your capacity as an individual.
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One of the first things you should look for in a coach is the depth of your sector. You should understand how long have they been working as a coach, as well as how much experience they have working in your type of organisation.

In getting to know your potential coach, you are looking for the coach’s value statement with this question. What value does the coach feel they can bring to your success? What problems do they feel they are solving? How does that align with your needs?

Similar to work experience, the coach’s actual coaching experience is vitally important. You should seek to understand the variety in the experience of the coach. What experience has the coach had that is similar to your situation?

Coaches typically specialise or work in certain areas consistently. Look for those areas the coach has worked in that you can relate too. Finding a coach that specialises in something that directly relates to you and your situation is very desirable.

What you want to look for here is the coach’s emphasis on capacity building; not problem solving. The coaches overall philosophy should revolve around building your capacity to achieve your goals and objectives.

Ask for some specific examples of individuals who have done well. You are looking to see if your ideas of success match. Can you picture yourself as the next success story with this coach?

​Adapted from alignleadership

I also bring humour into my conversations. Often seeing the absurd (and a lot of leadership stuff is managing the absurd!) in giving anecdotes of my past failures and accidental successes.

This relaxes the room and laughter encourages participation.

In addition as I establish rapport I also challenge the trainees to do things they wouldn't normally volunteer for (role play) and push themselves to do better than they are currently doing. This challenging process further cements our rapport, as they have to take responsibility for their own learning.

My feedback sheets show lots of evidence of learning and enjoyment. The ones that give me the most pleasure are those that say "I now have the confidence to try it."

I feel we have connected.

I don’t get it right all the time. Each person is different. Therefore each group I train is different, and so rapport building requires an attempt to understand the individuals and group for the first time. Any rules you think you can work by are constantly challenged, adapted and adjusted. Any parent of more than one child will recognise the truth of that last statement.

Perhaps this is why I love what I do.
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The general content of my courses might be fairly stable, but it is the individuals who participate that are my challenge. That's why at the start of each training session my primary objective is to establish rapport. It's essential to facilitate the learning of these unique individuals in front of me now.

If you're interested in finding out more about my training programme visit my training page.